FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
