Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize