What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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