i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
