Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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