butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
