idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Damn victory sex feels great
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
