Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
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I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
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she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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