I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
