I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
