The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
