im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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