I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
