Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize