I wannas sexs uuuuu
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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