So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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