Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?