Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator

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(503): It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator http://tfl.nu/0fh7

Replies (2) Good night (1046) Bad night (549)
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(312): View more from Illinois

spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook

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(312): spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook http://tfl.nu/0qwr

Replies (26) Good night (677) Bad night (2833)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.

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(814): Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade. http://tfl.nu/7055

Replies (49) Good night (1429) Bad night (7555)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

this weekend will be like the season finale to my life

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(859): this weekend will be like the season finale to my life http://tfl.nu/589p

Replies (22) Good night (4080) Bad night (842)
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(917): View more from New York City

The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.

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(917): The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof. http://tfl.nu/wunk

Replies (3) Good night (2857) Bad night (745)
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(425): View more from Washington

please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr

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(425): please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr http://tfl.nu/rnxk

Replies (4) Good night (1740) Bad night (872)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?

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(204): Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard? http://tfl.nu/3z7i

Replies (20) Good night (4411) Bad night (780)
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(940): View more from Texas

You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.

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(940): You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata. http://tfl.nu/mqsn

Replies (3) Good night (3233) Bad night (656)
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(765): View more from Indiana

The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange

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(765): The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange http://tfl.nu/tkqz

Replies (9) Good night (3270) Bad night (535)
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(850): View more from Florida

Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.

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(850): Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award. http://tfl.nu/qxv7

Replies (3) Good night (586) Bad night (1465)
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(305): View more from Florida

Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?

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(305): Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference? http://tfl.nu/v6oa

Replies (5) Good night (640) Bad night (1598)
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(813): View more from Florida

IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.

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(813): IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY. http://tfl.nu/73q8

Replies (15) Good night (702) Bad night (1286)
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(817): View more from Texas

i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar

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(817): i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar http://tfl.nu/a2fz

Replies (1) Good night (617) Bad night (210)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.

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(318): He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free. http://tfl.nu/dxth

Replies (0) Good night (796) Bad night (241)
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(315): View more from New York

i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters

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(315): i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters http://tfl.nu/mv30

Replies (14) Good night (144) Bad night (503)

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