Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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