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• (347): View more from New York

  Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?

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• (925): View more from California

  What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form

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• (858): View more from California

  I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?

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