playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"