Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(941): View more from Florida

I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie

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(941): I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie http://tfl.nu/ovq9

Replies (16) Good night (1011) Bad night (1516)
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(627): View more from California

his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.

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(627): his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting. http://tfl.nu/tvd6

Replies (46) Good night (1286) Bad night (4445)
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(325): View more from Texas

I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.

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(325): I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well. http://tfl.nu/zrfa

Replies (19) Good night (7036) Bad night (1477)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.

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(605): there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife. http://tfl.nu/kzgo

Replies (5) Good night (1670) Bad night (6022)
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(440): View more from Ohio

I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood

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(440): I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood http://tfl.nu/iriz

Replies (15) Good night (1015) Bad night (4651)
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(585): View more from New York

we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night

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(585): we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night http://tfl.nu/lrrw

Replies (18) Good night (2878) Bad night (804)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...

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(401): Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him... http://tfl.nu/2jr7

Replies (10) Good night (2256) Bad night (757)
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(972): View more from Texas

I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.

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(972): I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in. http://tfl.nu/6wlf

Replies (16) Good night (1080) Bad night (1974)
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(775): View more from Nevada

Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob

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(775): Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob http://tfl.nu/1w2d

Replies (6) Good night (723) Bad night (1359)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!

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(423): You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!! http://tfl.nu/8r5y

Replies (14) Good night (1542) Bad night (605)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

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(303): Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids. http://tfl.nu/27z2

Replies (4) Good night (1519) Bad night (600)
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(309): View more from Illinois

Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much

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(309): Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much http://tfl.nu/b8oh

Replies (1) Good night (358) Bad night (744)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting

(978): View more from Massachusetts

In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you

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(201): Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting (978): In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you http://tfl.nu/ucjj

Replies (5) Good night (876) Bad night (595)
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(707): View more from California

I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha

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(707): I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha http://tfl.nu/s6o5

Replies (2) Good night (587) Bad night (365)
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(407): View more from Florida

I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.

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(407): I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober. http://tfl.nu/la4k

Replies (5) Good night (881) Bad night (347)

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