Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
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He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
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I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...