Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles

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  (212): Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles http://tfl.nu/ttbo
  Replies (5) Good night (751) Bad night (1091)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake

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  (704): Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake http://tfl.nu/8hsp
  Replies (8) Good night (764) Bad night (945)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.

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  (636): Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know. http://tfl.nu/4r5f
  Replies (37) Good night (2999) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"

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  (937): He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night" http://tfl.nu/9y6d
  Replies (9) Good night (4165) Bad night (985)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.

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  (757): everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date. http://tfl.nu/pynx
  Replies (36) Good night (1044) Bad night (4363)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.

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  (540): For future references, orgasms clear sinuses. http://tfl.nu/b2l7
  Replies (24) Good night (8021) Bad night (1684)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?

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  (641): is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now? http://tfl.nu/l9c5
  Replies (6) Good night (3588) Bad night (1616)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea

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  (509): We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea http://tfl.nu/v62m
  Replies (5) Good night (3585) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.

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  (708): he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay. http://tfl.nu/sfnl
  Replies (6) Good night (1340) Bad night (803)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?

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  (901): Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going? http://tfl.nu/ugit
  Replies (16) Good night (652) Bad night (2352)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours

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  (519): Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours http://tfl.nu/fxl2
  Replies (26) Good night (1651) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.

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  (916): Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though. http://tfl.nu/db3p
  Replies (15) Good night (445) Bad night (1653)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to

  (425): View more from Washington

  She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem

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  (425): He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to (425): She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem http://tfl.nu/6c1h
  Replies (0) Good night (735) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.

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  (706): Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling. http://tfl.nu/gqiq
  Replies (2) Good night (480) Bad night (282)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Can I chase this vodka with an onion?

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  (303): Can I chase this vodka with an onion? http://tfl.nu/o1n7
  Replies (3) Good night (268) Bad night (535)

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