I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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