Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
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