i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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