In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
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Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
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those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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