she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Duck Duck Cougar?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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