Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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