At least make sure they are 18
Why
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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