Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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