I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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