There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
