she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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