i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I understand Curling. That high.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
