I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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