Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Randomize
