just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Randomize
