oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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