I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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