Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
