help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.