you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Is it because I queefed?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
