I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.