Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
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Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
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A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy