Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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