The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
