Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
