Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
