just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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