i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
it glows. i had to have it.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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