I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
