I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
