She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
