how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
