apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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