I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
