What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I have aggressive nipples.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
