so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
