i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
