And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
