we have officially lost it.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
this is an emotional support booty call
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
