where does the pee come out of this thing
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
