Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
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