Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I supernannyed him into submission
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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